Trivialities

So, I went away for a company strategy meeting, and decided to “fling my eager through footless halls of air” (ten bucks for anyone who can guess the origin of that (bastardised) quote) – went for a canopy tour, aka foofie slide from eleven platforms in a gorge in Rustenburg, which, while in itself is newsworthy in a dull life such as mine, is not the main point of this story. EVZ, a former colleague and current tormentor (publicly degrades my ass on his own blog – his last reference compared it to the size of Soweto), joined me, the boyf and another colleague for the canopy tour, and let loose with another fat joke. I replied something about the polite form to refer to them as “child-bearing hips”, to which he told me an amazing little conversation he overheard the other day. Readers, I’m not joking, he swears this actually happened:

Broody chick #1: You’re so lucky you have child-bearing hips, X

Broody chick #2: I know!

Holy fucking shit. If I ever say that, please shoot me. Even if my narrow hips (EVZ can’t read this, so I can say whatever I like) cause me unprecedented pain during childbirth (if I ever choose to go down that path) and I happen to utter the phrase “Motherfucking cuuuuuunt! I wish I had child-bearing hips – Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiii!!!” you are still under moral obligation to shoot me.

Onto matters less extreme – unless you’re Peas who’s plotting a big letter-bomb massacre of everybody’s favourite tax collecting government agency – I must say I admire their latest initiatives, even if I’m somewhat alarmed at the Big-Brother-is-Watching-You aspect of it all. They’re eventually gonna do away with filing for tax and tax rebates, and just monitor your accounts (banks, life policies, investments) and remove/deposit money into your savings account as is appropriate. Efficient, eh? Makes me wonder whether to admit to having worked on weekends last year – oops! Genuinely forgot to mention that to them. Oh well, there’s ammo for anyone out there who hates my guts enough. Use it, don’t use it, just a thought.

Farewell peeps, and have a peachy rest of the week. My plans involve a night tour of the Joburg Zoo, some dodgy club in Midrand (the things we do for the peoples we love, eh?) and potentially running the BlueIQ 10km race on Sunday morning. I’ve run it three years in a row, why give up now, even though my ageing body crumbles at the mere thought of exercise…