car troubles

I'm a little alarmed at how much sex has seemed to dominate my recent blogs - so in this entry I'll say no more other than: bought a fab new vibrator with a friend the other day (actually, they match), and it looks like many enjoyable evenings will be spent together on lonely evenings in Cape Town (me and my toy, not the friend). Right, onto the sex-less stuff: I'm a fucking moron driver. A few months back, I borrowed my Dad's car while up for the weekend in Jozi. I was out visiting friends, who needed an emergency stash of extra ice. Completely tanked, I volunteered to reverse down the steep, windy road to buy more at the nearest petrol station, and met with a rather mean pole halfway down the cliff. D'oh! My father, being the unreasonable man that he is, at first insisted I pay the full repair amount (R50,000) without claiming on insurance. He relented; I claimed, I swore, I had another tankard.

Then, a few short weeks down the line, parked up close and personal next to the Gilb's driveway's tree (and yes, with a few too many Stellas frolicking in my gut), I accidentally rolled my Dad's car into the tree while trying to reverse out. shithotdamn! for what seemed like a little caress between metal and wood, it sure left a fucking large (and expensive) dent. a dent, mind you, that will not be repaired in time for my parents' return from Port Alfred. (All together now: Lolo's fucked fucked fucked, Lolo's f-f-f-f-fucked! ad infinitum)

In a masochistic twist, I decided to sms the news to the same cold bastard who was with me in the car during the first accident (charismatic, yet cold-hearted ex), and 5 minutes later answered the phone to a loud, gleeful guffaw of pleasure at my distress. friends - who needs them?

so, if i never write another word on this blog, you'll know my Dad's Sicilian genes kicked in and he's having my kneecaps carved into ornaments. if not, i'll do as I normally do: keep you posted.

ps: Peas, don't be pissed off I'm not coming to the Vaal. My fingers are crossed for you not to do something stupid (though you will), but anyway, keep the voddies flowing.