The fairer sex?

After my mini-tirade against men in my last blog, let me be fair and slag off women. We’re a crafty, deceitful bunch, after all. All smiles, perfumes, coiffed hair – how could anyone like that want to hurt you?

But don’t forget the Wonderbras, the diamante-studded g-strings, the pre-nups. We’re fricking dangerous, never forget that. Because we care, we try hard to please, and when we don’t get what we want in return, we start looking for it elsewhere. From butterflies to foxes, without you ever even noticing it.

We’re manipulative, cunning – far clever than you are at pre-determining outcomes. We make things go our way, and the really deft amongst us will lead you to believe it’s what you wanted all along. Especially gifted lasses will even make you think they didn’t want it in the first place, and now they’re going along with what you want, so don’t forget the favour. Payback time will come, it always does.

Just a warning.