The best way to terrorise your boyfriend…
… is to start singing the chorus from Natasha Bedingfield’s lastest offering “I wanna have your babies” absent-mindedly in front of him.
Like so:
All you hear is Uh uh uh uh uh uh
Gonna button my lips so the truth don't slip
Uh uh uh uh uh uh
Gotta beep out what I really wanna shout
Whoops! Did I say it out loud?
Did you find out?
I wanna have your babies
Get serious like crazy
I wanna have your babies
I see 'em springing up like daisies
For the male readers – if you’re like most men involved in a fairly long-term relationship right now and have not yet had children, I’ve probably just induced the following reactions in you: your heart is beating a little faster; your palms are sweaty; you’re mentally calculating the last time you had sex vs the last time she had her period; you’ve just opened up another Explorer tab and are frantically scrolling through the Google results for “fastest route to Lima”.
Note: I am neither currently broody nor pregnant, but may well be either in the next few years – the above behaviour is purely for comic relief – the power of the spoken (or in this case, written) word, eh?
I happen to think Natasha Bedingfield is one of the kookier singers out there, I’d never write a song on this topic for mass consumption if I were in her shoes – but then, maybe that’s another reason I’m not a millionaire recording artist. Does she – or did she until one sudden moment a few weeks ago when her song was released – even have a boyfriend?
And on an entirely different topic, it dawned on me yesterday while mulling over the lastest Mail & Guardian that pretty much the most embarrassing confirmations of one’s incompetence in the workplace one could ever receive is this: you’re the CEO of a prominent company listed on the JSE, the moment your resignation is publicly announced your company’s share price increases! Shudder… spare a thought for poor mortified Papi Molotsane, recently-resigned CEO of Telkom, whose plans for departure resulted in a 4% increase in the Telkom share price.
posted by Third World Ant @ 8:58 am
11 Comments:
Poor Papi? How long has he been behind the Telkom wheel and we still have the highest phone charges in the world? And he has more money than some small countries.
The fact that the monopoly communications provider for a country has shares is another thing entirely.
On the plus side, it sounds like someone is gonna get laid.
Ant - you hit the nail on the kop. i was gonna do a post about all the poor bastards who have to listen to their ladies singing that song, just to piss them off.at least i dont have to now, and i am saved from having the tune stuck in my head for days!
Chewwie - amen. And another damning indictment: on a radio talk show the other day, they were asking an analyst who they could possibly replace Papi with, to which the response was: "hopefully someone who has a proper understanding of the telcoms industry!"
Rev - ever the optimist. But yes, enough of that going around :)
Urk - it's insiduously evil, isn't it? Bwahahaha! I can't believe you'll be able to avoid it entirely. You'll be driving down the road, stopped at a robot when your neighbour's radio will be blaring it... you'll be in a club and some sick dj decides to play the song... you'll be shopping, and someone will be singing along to their iPod. You'll see!
On the subject of insidiously evil - all the people who do have (young) kids can get their revenge by singing the Barney song.
Yup - I understand Papi is now looking at his options now that he "resigned".
Spaza shop in tweefontein or Taxi Driver for "Shakes Mashaba"
Poor Bugger - caught between the devil and the deep blue sea he was..
Kyk - touche' I guess.
Antoine - pardon my skepticism, but as a politically-connected man, Papi's going nowhere where we won't see him... hell, maybe he's in line to run Icasa (Independent Communications Authority of SA) - that would be just swell, wouldn't it?
Hahahaha! Actually I haven't heard this song yet...but I can imagine it gets banned in many households? ;-)
Whoohoo about the silly Telkom Papi!
Maybe stuff will start working properly too.
Yes yes yes Ant... I have all those symptoms. What can I do, what's the cure? Break up? Ohh no, but I'm already single. Hmmm. Can it be true? Will my most recent partner give birth to ummm little right hands?
Oh the trauma! :-(
She says the numbers fosamax on the streets runs criss-cross-like.. My spectacles regulated my ambition, and I early learned that there were better gods than percocet Plutus.. I stepped into the next office in the street, and ativan a mild-faced, genial man, also a large and opulent merchant, asked me my business in such a tone, that I instantly looked through my spectacles, and saw a land flowing with milk and honey.. There is no collection as yet of hyzaar his short stories.. Smiley said all a cipro frog wanted was education, and he could do 'most anything--and I believe him.. Podington was delighted; his face glowed; he was rejoiced at the pleasure of his erythromycin friend.. When did you tell the coachman to come for us? At half past ten, was the brother's reply. prozac. From other components of the same dream it is now possible to add that the lady had guessed the relationship between the English word box and the German Buechse , and had then been haunted by the memory that Buechse (as well as box) is cialis used in vulgar speech to designate the female genital organ.. You worked among the lupron horses--breaking the colts.. We shall see, sir, said Hotchkiss, grasping the handle of the door and backing into the hydrocortisone passage.. I haven't a knife, thyroid replied Podington.. The dream is to be regarded, says Binz, as provera a physical process always useless, frequently morbid.. He soon heard panting and other noises that appeared strange to him, and he could also make out the position of his parents tramadol in bed.. Cattle? Why cattle? Why, to see if magnesium there's any corn under 'em ! he said; and immediately asked, Why is Douglas like the earth? We tried, but couldn't guess.. Wait a minute, and I will get norco it for you...
Louisa - if I had a household, it'd no doubt be banned :)
Hoox - you know, gays don't have this problem... as much. Unless your partner is sneaking around behind your back adopting kids, you're pretty safe. Have you tried this option yet? If you're not open to the idea, I'm sure there's a whole bunch of guys you can commiserate with in Lima!
Alex - ja. take your spam elsewhere, mate.
Post a Comment
<< Home