Riddle

I love our crazy language, don’t you? I have a minor obsession with English words and phrases, and always keep my beloved Collins dictionary (I like their etymologies better than the supposed bible, the O.E.D.) and Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable close at hand.

Two phrases I looked up this morning (although in neither of the above-mentioned books!) include:

The bee’s knees
By some, alleged to refer to the concentrated goodness to be found around a bee’s knees (where their pollen sacks are located); by others, meant to be a twist of the word ‘business’. The phrase was first used in 1797 to mean ‘small’ and first appeared in print in the 1920s. Today it is thought that the phrase was merely coined because it rhymes nicely; at the time the phrase was invented, there were many other ridiculous terms for ‘excellence’, including: the snake’s hips, the kipper’s knickers, the cat’s pyjamas, the sardine’s whiskers.

Monkey’s wedding
The symbolism of references to sunshine and rain happening simultaneously is unknown
, all that is known is that many cultures have a phrase for this occurrence – in South Africa, we call it a ‘money’s wedding’ which is a direct translation of the Zulu phrase umshado wezinkawu, a wedding for monkeys. In the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, the term used is ‘sunshower’; the Arabs use the phrase ‘the rats are getting married’; the Polish prefer the lengthy ‘when the sun is shining and the rain is raining, the witch is making butter’ as do southern Americans with their ‘The devil’s behind his kitchen door beating his wife with a frying pan’. Other cultures include animals ranging from foxes to tigers.


And now for a little riddle: you’re walking down a path, and reach a fork. The path to the left leads to (at least temporary, if not more permanent) self-frustration*, while the path to the right leads to your heart being extracted from your chest with dull tweezers and then thrown in the way of stampeding bulls. Which path do you take?

*Nope, I'm not talking about the sexual frustration kind. That sort can be relieved rather quickly, partner or no.