Some days sisters suck

It’s true. The bitch just won’t admit she’s wrong wrong wrong and I’m right. She’s also grown mean and generally intolerable with age, and at only 23 years, she’s got a lot more meanness and intolerability coming. Aaaargh!

First, it was the raincoat I borrowed to take overseas. “Why’s it wrinkled?” she whined. It. Was. In. My. Fucking. Luggage. Then, it was about calorie counting, her favourite pastime. She cut a sliver of avocado small enough to glide down an Ethiopian’s throat unhindered (although probably not hers). “Would you like some avocado with that sandwich?” I asked (admittedly, with substantial vehemence). She launched into an argument about how I have no idea what she eats (wrong: answer – nothing), how she even asked me to bring 3 slabs of chocolate for her from England (R40 a fucking slab, which is so expensive because it dark, really low-fat chocolate at which she will nibble for the next three years), how she’s obsessed with sushi because it’s really tasty (convenient that it’s also low fat, and she will never go to any restaurant that serves any food from any other culture, because they’re a little more generous on the calorie doses).

I’ve come to conclude that personality is proportional to daily calorie intake, but that the relationship is not linear, it slopes off eventually (perhaps because extremely excessive calorie intake leads to death, and most corpses I’ve met are a tad boring). Haven’t I moaned about this before? Probably.

But I’m not yet done. She recently got a gigantic tv set from my father (which brings the number of sets in our house to a ridiculous 4 – yes 4! That’s one per family member, happily I’m tv-set free, the guest room has one), and has turned her study into a loud blaring theatre. She makes up for her lack of conversation with double-volume soapie crap spewing out the room (she is partially deaf in both ears, so I’m not making it up), which is uncomfortably close to my sanctuary of peace and quiet.

Well, that was yesterday’s sibling bliss. Anyone want to trade? I’d really like a brother.