Celibate schmoozing with young and old Wops with funny names

Was hoping to be able to report back on my “good” porno today, but unfortunately haven’t got around to watching it. No fear, I thought, there’d at least be the entertaining tales of my antics at Teazers, which was the plan for Wednesday night. But no, the universe has conspired to keep me very close to celibate this week, thanks to a combination of work and the infernal monthly period. I guess all that will have to wait till next week, then….

In other news, I’ve taken up Italian bowls (bocce) with my sister. The team is based at the Italian Club in Bedfordview and is rated 6th best in the world, so one day I may well be an international sporting star. Suck on that, you amateurs! Apart from my sister and myself, there is one person under the age of thirty on the team, and everyone else is a short-tempered foul-mouthed short Italian septuagenarian – exactly what I intend to become one day. Call me gifted - way ahead of my time - if you will.

This weekend bears little in terms of crazy hedonism, but should consist of some good casual schmoozing – drinks with the Italian youth this evening (got to make friends with those who’ll be short-tempered foul-mouthed septuagenarian Wops with me one day), an art gallery run on Sunday, followed by bocce, and if I’m lucky, a good porn movie… keep your fingers crossed (but your legs spread), dearies!

Last note: I’ve been gathering information for an employee list at my current client, and am having many opportunities to absolutely hose myself at the names I find… Salaminah Pinkie Minkie. Indeed. And a Parmanandhan Sugananda. And a Heavy Maposa. How about Boy Kleeinbooi? Sue Moosa! And first names like Chrisostomus, or Mummy or Mumsy? God bless our colourful little rainbow nation…