Third World Ant

The thoughts of a little ant on a big planet.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Purple – the colour of sexual frustration and sexual violence

Last night, I was horny as hell. And, in what is becoming a frightening routine, my boyfriend left our flat early – again – too tired to perform his manly duties before heading home for bed!

Compounding this frustrating scenario was the fact that even my supposedly-abstaining flatmate, Peas, got some last night. So, the only thing left for a lady to do in this situation is take the matter into her own hands.

And boy did I. Unfortunately, perhaps with too much vim and vigour. When I went to pee this morning, I discovered upon wiping myself, that I was a little tender from the excessive activity last night. And now I wonder how much enjoyment will be gained from tonight’s sexual activities (which will happen, last night I made the Gilb swear we’d have sex tonight) – how long does fnu bruise take to disappear?

6 Comments:

At 5:33 pm, Blogger Billy said...

time for you and Peas to go back to the dimly light sex store and get some lube perhaps?

 
At 8:57 am, Blogger Peas on Toast said...

A fnu bruise?? You poor baby! I'm sorry to have compounded it by getting some on the side myself!
I say we take Billy's advice and head down to Adult World and get you a whoppingly wonderful dildo for your exploits. xx

 
At 9:53 am, Blogger Billy said...

Take pictures!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding, well sort of...

 
At 10:23 am, Blogger Third World Ant said...

I should really just fetch my toys from home, shouldn't I?

I am happy to report that all was in happy order last night, though. Whew!

Pics? In Adult World, yes, why not? (Peas, this might make a great series of photos for our lounge wall...) In the bedroom, um, I'm a little camera shy! However... Peas and I are intending on painting 16 different versions of our fnu's and hanging them up - we can definitely send you pics of these!)

 
At 11:32 am, Blogger Peas on Toast said...

I say we get started on our masterpiece this weekend!

 
At 12:09 pm, Anonymous generic viagra said...

Cool Stuff friend.I really enjoyed it....

 

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