A is for….

In the spirit of the letter game every blogger’s playing:

-Azzurri! Not quite the victory I wanted, but a
victory nonetheless! Mamma’s boys have made her proud…
-Adamantium – the indestructible metal covering
Wolverine’s skeleton
-Anus – often used to refer collectively to the brown
eye and the delectable cheeks surrounding it, but
actually it is the end of the large intestine, where
coils (if you’re a guy) and roses (if you’re a girl)
are excreted from the body interior and unleashed
upon the toilet
-Anal – adjectival form of the noun anus; often short
for ‘anal retentive’, an apt description for my one
of my company’s current clients, as a matter of fact…
derived from the mental imagery of someone who needs
to lay a coil/rose but just can’t let it all out, so
to speak
-Anal sex – a sexual position which is nowhere to be
found in the Kama Sutra, strangely. Current favourite
term for the act: Bournville Boulevard
-Ass – a person’s buns you’d really like to squeeze.
This word is also metonomy for a hot person you’d
like to pull, as in “Let’s go get some ass”
-Ass fixation – when a man likes the buns more than
the boobies
-Amos, Tori – intriguing singer of the song ‘Cornflake
Girl’. Produced an album whose cover photo featured a
piglet suckling on her
-Abysinthe – a once hallucinogenic (and widely banned)
alcoholic drink watered down for contemporary public
consumption; its consumption may very well result in
your having anal sex
-Apocalypse – if there isn’t already a club by this
name, I’d open one under it – cool brand, eh? As long
as you don’t think too hard about the actual
symbolism of the word, life’s peachy. Otherwise, the
word is associated with fire, bloody battle, angels
of darkness etc etc (for most people, this is a bit
of a party-pooper)
-Asphyxiation – when the throat closes up and no air
can be transported to the lungs. A posh way to
say ‘strangulation’
-Antique hunting – a favourite pastime of mine,
enriched by such delightful BBC programmes as ‘The
Great Antiques Roadshow’ and ‘Bargain Hunt’
-Archery – playing with bows and arrows – although
this conjures up the image of shooting an apple off a
boy’s head, I have been informed that this is seldom
done today, hence the decline in popularity of the
sport in recent centuries
-Anticlimax – Peas’ term for ‘when you don’t cum’
-Ant – little black social insects that always find a
way of entering your house and infuriatingly marching
through your kitchen and bathroom to find water
-Ant, Third World – one of these black social insects
with an annoying habit of drinking your water – from
your kitchen or bathroom. Although not so much. For
one, she’s white (black on the inside, though), and
would rather tipple on your Jamesons or 1992 Reserve
Cabernet Sauvignon. But she’s one of the millions
teeming on the planet’s most mysterious continent.
Also has a penchant for Earl Grey, trip-hop –
although she’s a dancing whore and will boogey to
anything, even country music if that’s all that’s
available - antiques, the occasional bout of sex with
her boyfriend living 150km away in The Poenda,
swearing in Italian, cooking pasta.
-Amperes – unit of current flow, used in daily lingo
in the form ‘amped’ to mean “I’m psyched”, “I’m
energized”, “I’m keen”
-Agoraphobic – someone who’s scared of large open
spaces, and prefers the hustle and bustle of
cluttered cities and invasions of their personal
space, to being alone with only their thoughts to
keep them company
-Antihistamine – drugs to counter an immune reaction
to foreign antigens introduced to your body; will
prevent asphyxiation and a violently unpleasant death
-Altruism – what people like Mother Teresa and Gandhi
were renowned for; what the rest of us will never
accomplish
-Apoplexy – the word that Peas spells as aboplexy; the
former is what she experiences on a frightfully
regular basis, the latter is a figment of her
imagination
-Annie – the movie whose soundtrack will cause Peas to
get us evicted from our flat in the not-too-distant
future
-Amor Vittone – the wife of Joost, (in)famous for her
singing and ongoing rivalry with equally (in)famous
Patricia Lewis. Remarkably, regarded as one of SA’s
most prominent personalities. The daughter of an
Afrikaans woman and Italian man, hopefully the
extreme opposite of the offspring of an Italian woman
and Afrikaans man (a little too close for comfort!)

ATW, now pwetty pwease obwige us with your w’s.