A self indulgent moment, if you don’t mind

Oh bother. Fuck. I hate this particular time of year, it’s inevitable that while everyone gets cheerier and cheerier at the prospect of finding a new Spring lay (or making use of their current one(s) a lot more) I get broody – no, not for kids, but broody like a storm grumbling on the horizon starting its inexorable parade across the sky to piss on your party.

See, it’s that time of year when you get to tell people your year count on planet Earth has gone up another digit. And you look back on what was meant to be accomplished in those 365 (or even worse: 366) days, and on what has been accomplished, and you realize you’ve disappointed yourself again. Now, the Gilb partially ruined my self-absorbed depression by sending me an SMS on Monday saying “Baby! Keep Friday evening and Saturday morning open for me as I’ll be treating you for many things! Mwa!” – after all, it’s not possible to be in a bad mood when you get that, right? And I always distract myself from this annual reflection (deflection from reflection, if you will) by throwing a moerse party to absorb myself in the details of planning said event, but come two days before the time, it’s no longer postponeable (mmm… Word doesn’t like that one). So here goes, the “to-do” and “got done” lists.

To do

1. Move in with the Gilb, so we could finally “test” whether this long-term relationship is actually going to go anywhere
2. Get a promotion
3. Do a wine course
4. Go on a really fabulous holiday (this is an annual goal)
5. Learn German
6. Get cracking on that damn book I’m meant to write

Got done

1. Almost succeeded in ending my relationship with the Gilb, thanks to my utter stupidity. And the universe paid me back by moving him 170km away. Fair’s fair, I guess. But I did move out of home (finally!) and in with crazy Peas. Which makes this failed goal a lot easier to bear. (thanks Peas!)
2. Got a promotion (tick)
3. Did two wine courses (tick, bonus tick)
4. Go on a really fabulous holiday – hasn’t happened; have had a few memorable brief breaks, going to have to hope that the October/November Mozambique trip makes up for that
5. Bought the tapes, listened to them a few times en route to Pretoria on my last client contract (was meant to be a twice-daily thing, to while away the two hours’ drive between Jozi, there and back), then got bored. Then bought a German/English book, read two pages, then got bored again. Think I need lessons to see me through to vaguely conversant.
6. Got many Page 1’s lying about, but let’s face it, they’re not going anywhere. Will have to think a lot harder about what needs doing to make my efforts extend themselves on to pages 2 to n.

Okay, so 3 out of 6 (half a point for moving in with Peas, half a point for the bonus wine course – cutting myself some slack here) isn’t a total failure, I guess. But I am concerned that the achievements (and even the goals) get smaller and smaller every year – doesn’t that worry you, too? I’m going to hedge my bets and not say another about my goals for next year (though I’ll no doubt wax lyrical on this here blog if any are attained).

Right, going to suck this misery up, and put on a brave face for tomorrow. To cheer myself up, and give you some more blah to read, I’m going to compile a post of memorable past birthdays (like I said, they always have to be an ‘event’).

So good-bye to life as a 25-year old, hello 26…