Week 2 as a 25-year old: downhill from here

I’m definitely changing my hair back to its traditional blue-black colour. My first weekend as a blonde saw me in losing my memory in the wee hours of my party celebration, and having a 2-hour argument over some political crap that I as a white person probably have no right to comment on.

The second blonde weekend saw me repeat the first, except this time at a fellow Virgoan’s party, minus my clothes, plus a jacuzzi, a second cigar and one boyfriend to watch my shameful antics. Picture me (or rather, try not to), naked in a tub with about 8 people, kissing some strange character while the Gilb was an onlooker. “Are you fucking out of your mind?” you’re all saying. Well, clearly. I don’t even remember doing it, is the scary thing. When my boyfriend left that evening, he gave me the rather obscure instruction to watch out for myself, and left a similar instruction with my Virgo pal. I was mystified, and assumed only that he didn’t want me to show my ‘nads off to the world.

Of course, in retrospect, it all makes sense – the very moment the Gilb departed, some unknown hands start giving me a back massage – from somewhere in the tub. After more drinking and tomfoolery, everyone except me and the dude leave the tub. He hits on me, I try to take things back to a conversational space, fail, and eventually get out the tub and drive home in a shockingly drunk state because I don’t want to spend the night in the same house as that creep.

I awake the next morning thinking, I’m lucky I have the great, noble boyfriend I do, and am not stuck with someone like that. After taking a shower, I was totally shocked to see the boyf had sent me an SMS saying “We need to talk.”

I don’t want to go into the gory details of “the talk”, but suffice to say there is something utterly soul-shattering in seeing an honest, caring, gentle and humble man crying at the hands of your selfish, indulgent recklessness. I know I never want to cause that misery again, and that I am lucky to be given the chance to prove myself. The Gilb - though you won’t read this, I am so totally sorry for my behaviour. I had no idea of what I was doing, and promise never to put myself in that situation again. Thank you so much for forgiving me, I don’t know what I’d do if you’d decided to dump my sorry ass….