Oddballs at the gym
Damnit! I've got no time to blog today (so what am I busy doing?) but I simply had to share something with you - the FINAL post for 2006 will come tomorrow (you know the drill, where you have to look back on the year in a philosophical kind of way).
Anyhow, I got myself into a gym frenzy - I've been going every weekday since Thursday last week (except for Monday due to excessive weekend antics), and I even went this morning, despite waking up with mild stomach cramps (could it be the alcohol from last night?? Never!), which have since got a lot worse. Anyhow, the crazy community that is the Old Eds Virgin Active members has provided a good number of laughs over the past few days. I've seen 60-something year olds wearing lycra hot pants and crop tops, this gym nut who has been there every day I've been there (and I can comfortably say that unironically - I know this little burst of gym attendance won't last very long into next year if my past track record is anything to go by) completely overdoing it on every machine (and using most of them incorrectly), and on Monday, what I thought was the cherry on top - an old white man swimming... in his peach-coloured Speedo... which came up to his waist... and was tied with a pieve of elastic over it.
But then... this morning after my shower, mid-cramp, I was standing at a basin doing my hair, when this woman comes up, sweaty from her work-out, pulls off her (sweaty, smelly) top, and proceeds to wash just her underarms with water from the tap. She then goes directly to her locker, and gets changed for work. Yeuch!
Mkay, that's all for now, folks - back to work :)
posted by Third World Ant @ 10:07 am
7 Comments:
Bleaurgh! You sure it was a woman? She didn't have suspiciously large hands and an adams apple, by any chance?
Kyknoord, stop giving me ideas...
I don't think I would make a very attractive woman anyway...
Ant, do you feel better since you have been going to gym? More awake and energetic?
When I do go, I feel great for the rest of the day, it's just getting there in the first place which I hate...
This is where I act elitist and eternally thankful that I moved from Old Eds to the Melrose Arch Virgin Classic ...
Ants - firstly, kudos for going to gym in the first place. If i see a virgin active sign anywhere, i have a reaction akin to that of a vampire seeing a crucifix.
I know gym showers aren't exactly appealing, but EWWW! Just the pits?
Whenever I get the urge to go to gym I sit down quietly with a beer in hand until the feeling goes away. It always does.
Now I just need to visualise sweaty armpits in the ladies changeroom and the urge never arises. It may reduce my beer bill but it's not as much fun at all.
Ant, If I don't catch you tomorrow - have a fantastic break & thanks for the marvelous banter & awe-full blog company that you've been over the last year. Sorry I've been incognito for the last few weeks.
Hello peeps! Would you believe those cramps I got yesterday were the cause of a 24-hour bug?! To think I actually went to gym just before it hit - that's dedication for you!
Kyk - no adams apple, and large, pendulous female breasts too...
Duzzie - now there's a pretty picture! Generally, I do feel a lot better after doing some sort of exercise, but like you, getting round to doing it is incredibly difficult. The R310 I pay every month hurts a little more, though, which is why I've been gymming up a storm over the past week and a half.
Paul - you snob, you! (can you bring guests along to try it out?) The irony is that if you're on Discovery you pay less for Virgin Classic membership than I do for my pleb Virgin membership!!!
Insane - hehe, does that mean gym is like Christianity, then? I find it more like hell, personally...
Wit - is beer your answer to everything?! I'm glad the mental image I've put in your mind has increased your resolve to avoid exercise. Thank you too for your incredible blog - I've learnt so much just by reading it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, friend.
i am also a regular at my local VA gym and have seen many oddballs. i quite like spending time in the changerooms observing peoples' habits. before you start getting suspicious, no, i don't 'cruise' the gym - it's all above board.
i've observed guys whose beauty routines would put any beaty queen to shame. the one guy has a special bag for all his cosmetics and stuff. it takes him a hell of a long time to lather himself with all his ointments, powders and crap.
then there's the old man of about 80 who blow dries his whole body (and i mean ALL of it) with a hair drier.
it's enough to make you suspect that you are sane after all ...
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